Bazinga Factor – The Big Bang Theory and D&D!

Congrats to Jim Parsons for winning the Best Actor in a Comedy Series award last night at the Emmy’s! The Bazinga Factor is my description of why “The Big Bang Theory” is, in my eyes, such an awesome show. It grabs you and before you know it – you’re hooked. It’s like a cruel joke – you walk in saying, “There’s no way I will like this show”… BAZINGA! You just fell for one of Sheldon’s classic pranks. Done. You’re addicted. It’s an awesome show!

The Big Bang Theory and D&D! That’s what the show needs!

Bazinga a word used to follow up on a burn. Often preluded with a long pause before Bazingaed.

Okay, awesome isn’t quite the word for it – but appealing, identifiable, cool, funny… that’s “The Big Bang Theory”.

I mean, 4 science geeks who can’t get a girl? The only thing missing from the show, to add to video game night, Chinese or Thai Food Night and Surprise Thursdays is a 24 hour Dungeons & Dragons binge that ‘the boys’ should have scheduled on a regular basis.

Johnny Galecki, Kelly Cuoco, Jim Parsons, Simon Helberg, Kunal Nayyar are all great actors in the show! This cast definitely makes the show what it is!

Writers of that show need to contact me ASAP for a script is what I think.

It can go something like this – of course this is copyrighted material written by me.

“The Big Bang Theory”
Episode: The Dragon Psychoactivity
Written by Glenn Magas
Plot: Stuart unexpectedly brings over Wil Wheaton for a 24 hour D&D binge at the boy’s apartment and Sheldon unexpectedly gets high off of Wil’s, brownies forcing the boys have to sober him up from his over reaction to the ‘high’.

INT. STAIRWELL – WALK UP TO THE APARTMENT
Sheldon and Leonard walk up the stairs with groceries that include no health benefit whatsoever – Sodas, Donuts, chips, etc.

SHELDON
Graph Paper

LEONARD
Check

SHELDON
Dixon Ticonderoga Pencils, #3 Hard

LEONARD
Check

SHELDON
6 Dozen

LEONARD
Check

SHELDON
Dice

LEONARD
Check

SHELDON
Dungeon Master’s Guide 3rd Edition

LEONARD
Why do we have to play 3rd Edition when we already have all the 4th Edition guides and books, and rules in our head?

SHELDON
In your head Leonard?

Sheldon shoots Leonard a look

LEONARD
You know what I mean. We spent all that money upgrading to the new rules years ago!

SHELDON
You spent money. I was smart – I refuse to invest all that time and money in a new edition when Wizards came out with 3rd edition and immediately said, no, lets go with 4th edition and take the money from those poor souls who fall for commercialism and updates as soon as we say we have something better. No – I will not ‘jump on the bandwagon’ just because something new comes out when it makes perfect sense to play 3rd edition until 5th edition comes out. And we would not of had to buy a new book if you didn’t spill your coffee on it before I re-laminated the cover last night.

LEONARD
Really? Jump on the bandwagon?

SHELDON
Really.

LEONARD
So then, how’s your iPhone 4 doing – that you spent 8 hours in line for when you could’ve preordered it and got it on the drop date?

SHELDON
Excellent I might add. Thank you for asking. The new iOS really makes the iPhone 4 a pleasurable experience as well as a functional one: not to say that 3GS, 3G and of course the iPhone Classic were not pleasurable and functional because they all were.

LEONARD
Talk about bandwagon…

PENNY walks out of her apartment dressed for work as Sheldon fumbles for his keys.

PENNY
Hey boys.

LEONARD
Oh hey, Penny.

PENNY
Having a party and I’m not invited?

She peeks into the bags.

LEONARD
As a matter of fact, you’re welcome to join us –

Sheldon clears his throat rudely.

LEONARD (Off of Sheldon’s)
Uh, that is if you want to spend 24 hours rolling dice and listening to Raj tell us how he would slay his cousin Badal in India if he had a +2 broad sword and what he would do to women if he had a cloak of invisibility – and to get reminded by Howard to REMEMBER – THIS IS JUST A GAME because he doesn’t want to burn in hell for doing what he is doing and thinks about doing because he doesn’t do well in heat – yeah… join us… if you want…

PENNY
D&D weekend again?

SHELDON
Yes, Penny, and its not for feint of heart or for those who can’t make a decision at a roll of a die.

PENNY
I can make decisions.

SHELDON
Really?

Sheldon gets serious and approaches Penny.

LEONARD
Uh-oh…

SHELDON (CONT)
It’s dark, and cold, in a cramped cavern deep in the Black Plume Mountains, you’re split from your team because YOU stubbornly decide to follow the light thinking that’s the way out – but its a trap.

Sheldon gets closer to Penny trying to act formidable. Penny’s eyes widen, leans back a little.

SHELDON (CONT)
(Over the top Dramatic)
You’re attacked from the LEFT… then the RIGHT by creatures that you can only distinguish because of their smell, because you can’t see them. The freakish ghouls screech send chills up your spine. Your life passes before your eyes – and its a life or death situation – what do you do?

PENNY
(Quick to respond)
I put on my cloak of invisibility and take out my broad sword and slash away.

Leonard giggles – a laugh of approval.

Sheldon shell shocked at her unexpected response. Then –

SHELDON
You can’t.

Leonard and Penny look puzzled. Then –

SHELDON
Because you have to roll for initiative and due to your fatigue, visibility, and the size of your +2 BROAD SWORD in such small quarters, you miss two turns automatically and they attack and kill you. So there.

Sheldon storms into the apartment.

Leonard reaches into the bag, takes out a box of dozen pencils, takes one out, hands it to Penny…

PENNY
Six dozen pencils again?

LEONARD
As always.

PENNY
Thanks

She breaks it in half.

END SCENE

Okay, I need to do some rewriting as I just threw that out there, but you see where I’m going. A 24 hour D&D binge is what I’m talking about!

If you haven’t watched “The Big Bang Theory” do yourself a treat. Watch it. Give it a couple of episodes and Bazinga! You are hooked! Just ask my wife!

About Glenn Magas